Wednesday, September 07, 2005

hello norma jean

The era of the blonde has apparently come to an end according to researchers in the UK. While we can still claim to have "more fun" apparently the years of battering by blonde jokes, and the likes of Paris Hilton, have taken their toll on our perceived intelligence and attractiveness.

According to a new study 51 per cent of men thought brunettes were more attractive 81 per cent described them as intelligent and 67 per cent of men described them as independent and self sufficient.

Blondes were described as needy and lacking in independence by 40 per cent of those questioned.

In homage to our lost ranking I give you my favorite blonde song/joke – good bye Marilyn and hello Norma Jean.

‘Cause I’m a Blonde’ by Julie Brown (spoken lines in italics).

Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about gettin' a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see people workin', it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle

'Cause I'm blonde
B-L-O-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I never learned to read and I never learned to cook
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me
But I have this philosophy:
"So what?"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for 'em
'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em

'Cause I'm blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah

They say to make it you need talent and ambition
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:

Um, okay. what was it, okay, um,
don't tell me, oh yeah, okay...
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I took an IQ test, and I flunked it, of course
I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-A-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I just want to say that being chosen as
this month's Miss August is like a compliment
I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm
a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal
is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause we're a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true
With my hair and body, you would be too

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

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