when good things happen to bad marketing ideas ...

So, you're sitting around the table with a bunch of other marketing people sampling your latest product - a strawberry kiwi popsicle (Kiwi, by the way, is a fruit named by marketers to appeal to Joe America.) "What can we do to really launch this product and generate some excitement?" One of your buddies suggests bringing back the Snapple Lady - too controversial. Another person suggests doing product sampling on the streets of New York. Not a bad idea, but what is the hook, how do we involve the media. "I Know" you say. "Let's create the world's largest Popsicle!" "People love "world's largest" gimmicks." And thus... another marketing manger is back on the street (or moved into the head office).

You gotta to love it when an "ok" idea has disastrous execution. The only thing better would have been if people had run out to the truck to taste the popsicle as it melted away instead of running for higher ground... Makes me almost wish I was marketing popsicles.

disaster on a stick

hope you are not offended ...

As a general rule, if you have to say “I hope you won’t be offended” before you say something, it is best to not say it at all.

Yesterday I was in a meeting in which the comment “I hope you don’t find this offensive” was repeated numerous times in a business conversation. Truth be told, I don’t know that I would have found any of the comments offensive had they not been proceeded by the disclosure that they may be inappropriate for my female ears. What I did find offensive was the continued reminder that I was not a man. I found it offensive that I was brought into the conversation for my assumed “women’s perspective.” I found it offensive that my expertise had less to do with my career and more to do with my understanding of how households operate.

News Update! I have a career. I work on par with men everyday and the strategies I am responsible for developing are not thought of as “women’s strategies”. I have a home but no one would ever accuse me of knowing how to operate a household. I like the color pink but I can still operate a complex remote control. I read business publications, I listen to the news, I can name more foreign leaders than our current president can. I cook but not very often and usually not without burning myself. I own an iron but not an ironing board. I don’t use “the rules”, I actually believe that the key to a good relationship is to treat the other person with respect and honesty. I don’t believe that there is any woman I know (working, stay-at-home mom, single, married or other) that fits into a mold of what a woman is like. I also don’t think then men can be classified this way either. Guess what…. they don’t all like sports, they aren’t only in it for the sex and they don’t all belch the alphabet after drinking a beer.

So! I hope you are not offended but get over yourself and if you want to know how a household operates, maybe you should go home and tell your wife that you need a woman’s perspective on what is needed to improve the home. I am sure she has a few things she has been trying to tell you for years.

summer nights with lyle ...

Look I understand too little too late
I realize there are things you say and do
You can never take back
But what would you be if you didn't even try
You have to try
So after a lot of thought
I'd like to reconsider
Please
If it's not too late
Make it a cheeseburger

wanted: sm,ns,hwp ...

There used to be this section in the newspaper for "personal ads". I say "used to" because while it still exists, it is very limited in size and scope. I know this because I have been searching the papers to find some good ads to incorporate into an art project. The premise of the piece is that each of us is looking for a definition of a relationship. ( "single white woman, height weight proportional, looking for the same for long walks on a beach and possible long term relationship.") But, that by defining people and categories we become blind to the possibilities that exist outside of those definitions. Abstract. Anyhow, the piece is stuck in a work phase until I am able to actually find enough personal ads to move forward.

Maybe that is the problem for so many people - stuck in work phase until they are able to find enough personal ads to move forward...

you’re boring me …

Last week I went to see Mike Daisey’s new monologue – The Ugly American. His earlier work recalling his experiences at Amazon was hilarious and made me both relieved I had not jumped onto the dot.com bandwagon and at the same time disappointed I had missed out on the experience that will probably define my generation.

I love the way that Daisey is able to weave his life into such a vibrant story. It is not that his experiences are overtly unique, it is that he has taken the time to recognize the absurdity of the moment.

I relish the absurdity of the moment. It is the precise recognition we are not in control that opens the door to so many of life’s great experiences. Unfortunately, while I can often recognize the moment, putting it into words which will be both entertaining and enlightening to someone else is a skill which I have not yet honed.

Thus, my challenge with keeping up a blog…

There have been so many absurd moments this week that finding one to comment on has been almost impossible. Each time I start I am overcome with a dozen equally absurd recollections vying for my attention.

So… rather then choose one, here is my list of topics to consider:

• naked bike riders in formation – (as opposed to naked bike riders information which is a different category covered I am sure by the Freemont Solstice Parade Association’s website.)
• seattle mist - if you have to turn on the windshield wipers, should you put the roof up on the convertible?
• they can’t hear you and I don’t want to – sitting with the fans
• reality writers – if it is “reality” can it truly be written
• an egg can stand on its end any day of the year – it just chooses not to
• and my favorite …“you’re boring me”

Here is the bike riders in formation - let's hope the Shriners stick with their Fez!

clean sweep

Last night I went to play trivia with a friend at a local bar. This was our second attempt at becoming trivia champions and despite his exceptional knowledge of science and my equally impressive grasp of TV sitcoms, we came in second to last – again. The sticking point seems to be in the area of sports trivia. For example, in what year was the World Series cancelled due to a players strike? Hint, it was in the 90s….

My dad loves sports. Unfortunately, as a child I did not and would constantly complain whenever he would try to sit down and watch a game on the TV. “I bought this TV for … (insert major sporting event here)” he would say as I reached out to change the channel.

By the time I was 6 or 7 my dad had determined that the only way he would be able to watch a game in peace was to get me involved in the game. So, he introduced me to the great tradition of betting on sports. The bet was always the same. I would choose which team I thought would win the World Series. If my team won, my dad would clean my room. If my team lost, I would have to clean my room and keep it clean for a month. All of a sudden baseball held meaning.

To this day, as baseball season gets into full gear, I start thinking about who will win and how nice it would be to have my dad in my room, picking up my toys and putting everything back in order.

My mom and dad are planning on paying a visit next week and for his Father’s Day gift we will be going to a Mariners game on Tuesday. My dad will make sure he has his score card and a sharp pencil. I will make sure we are at the game at least a half an hour early so that we can see the first pitch. And, just to make it interesting, we will bet. I’ll take the Mariners – and Dad, if I win the vacuum is in the hall closet. Happy Father’s Day.

1000 places to see before you die

I once ran across a book titled: 1000 places to see before you die. As a traveler I am always intrigued by the places other people have visited. So, here is the start of my own list/recommendations for places to see. Enjoy!

At the point where Paraguay, Brazil, and Argentina meet, the earth falls off in magnificent splendor. This is Foz de Iguacú from the Brazil side looking into Argentina.

eye of the tigre (tiger)

A few months ago Starbucks introduced a new ad campaign in which the band Survivor is pulled through town on a platform while coaxing an innocent consumer into buying a Frapaccino by singing to him a personalized version of Eye of the Tiger - Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom ... Last week I again encountered a bastardized version of this 80s classic while attending a rock concert in Mexico City. The music was the same, but the lyrics had been drastically changed. The idea started as a one-time spoof with the band Moderatto using the music from the 80s with new lyrics that poked fun at 80s rock. After a few shows the audience loved the music so much that it has now become a full-on rock experience with sold out shows throughout Mexico. As I stood among the 3000 screaming fans I felt lost in a situation where everything seemed familiar but was very very different.

Last night it happened again – this feeling that what I thought I knew was no longer reality. While channel surfing I came across a new show "hit me baby one more time." Much to my dismay there on the screen was Tommy Tutone singing 867-5309. But instead of being the slightly geeky lead singer with curly hair that I remembered, there was this old very geeky guy who was gray and balding. As he sang "Jenny I got your number" my immediate reaction was "yuk" why is this dirty old man calling Jenny. I am sure Jenny is relieved we now have Caller Id.

I still love the music of the 80s – it's fun and as Dick Clark would say “you can dance to it.” But seeing these old rockers in commercials and cheesy reality shows is like seeing Fat Elvis transformed onto velvet … not a good look my friends – not a good look.

taco time ...

Ta Da! I can now post photos directly from my cell phone! Get ready to be wowed by mediocrity.

democracy and human rights filtered out ...

I was having a discussion with a friend a few weeks back regarding the impact of globalization on human rights and societal structures. More importantly, can a company such as Microsoft impact the social structure of an emerging market or closed country through either its hiring practices or the product it sells? My naive argument at the time was that through exposure and the passing of corporate norms from one culture to another, we would see changes that would impact the greater global society. Today I received the counter argument by way of the announcement that Microsoft will filter out words such as Democracy and Human Rights in order to launch MSN in China. While I still contend that corporations do have the ability to impart change, I am also now reminded that first and foremost decisions made by corporations are based on financial gains. Therefore, societies have just as much of an opportunity, if not more, to impact how corporations act (i.e. who they hire, how the workers are treated, how they operate in a community, etc..) as corporations have in impacting societies. It is a sad day when Democracy and Human Rights can be filtered out with a line of code.

chiclets vs. technology

Here is the idea ... buy a camera phone (done), set up a blog (done), travel to foreign places (done), send pictures to blog from phone ... send pictures to blog from phone ... ok... send pictures from phone to email - transfer pictures from email to computer - send pictures from computer to blog. - It may not be a perfect process but it worked.

#1

I wonder if Neil Armstrong thought about what he would say as he stepped onto the moon. Maybe, like so many of our heroes, he had a speech writer carefully crafting "his words" into bumper-sticker-worthy phrases. I wonder this because while I will never step onto the moon, and while my words will likely never inspire the masses, the opportunity to send messages into the world via the internet is monumental. So, here I sit waiting for inspiration to hit with a catch phrase that will launch my own adventures in cyberspace.

this is my life without translation - take it as it is and interpret it as you may

So... with a click of the mouse I enter into the world of blogging. Best of luck to us all.